Today marks the birthday of The Mad Scientist's Guide to World Domination, an anthology of stories that take a second look at the "mad scientist" label, in one way or another.My contribution to the anthology is "Captain Justice Saves the Day," which features very little of Captain Justice (spoilers?) and quite a bit of Dr. Methuselah Mason and his administrative assistant, Brenda Bryce, who's trying to deal with an IT department who cruelly stalks the night, among other very particular office-management requirements.
This is definitely not a story that reflects any of my day jobs, because why would it be, why would you even say that, I can't even begin with you. It might, however, happen be a story that reflects some of your own day jobs, and in that case, all I can say is: I hope you enjoy, and also I’m sorry to hear it.
Brenda had been working for Dr. Methuselah Mason for two years the day he mentioned strapping her to the doomsday device.
“It’s a brilliant idea,” he said. “Captain Justice can never resist the prospect of some helpless civilian. He’ll stop to save you, and by the time he realizes the mechanism is unstoppable . . . ” He sighed. “I’ll be rid of him forever.”
Brenda hit Mute on the speakerphone. “Beg pardon?”
“Don’t worry,” he said. “He always gets there before the timer runs out. I’ll leave some clues for him like usual. You shouldn’t be there long, and you don’t have to really do anything.”
“He said he wanted birch,” came the lumberyard service rep through the speaker. “Birch isn’t mothproof. He never told me the place was at risk from moths.”
“Of course it’s at risk from moths,” snapped Dr. Mason, “it’s an abandoned farmhouse lair.”
Brenda said, “You told me not to tell him that. Also, he can’t hear you.”
“Look, I’d pay you overtime for the doomsday stuff,” Dr. Mason said with a trace of disdain for time-clocking. “I don’t see why we have to have a big I’m-having-feelings meeting about everything I suggest.”
“I’m not giving your boss a pass on something he bought free and clear,” the lumber rep said.
Dr. Mason slammed his hand on the Mute button. “You listen here, you’ll give me that refund or I’ll send some radioactive geese to your house at night, you lying—”
“Dave, let me call you right back,” Brenda said, and hung up.
WILL the Doomsday Device hold the city in its thrall? WILL Brenda get insurance? WILL she have to remind her boss about the pizza-sauce protocols of various restaurants until maybe the Doomsday Device part doesn't sound so bad? FIND OUT, when CAPTAIN JUSTICE SAVES THE DAY, out now!
via Genevieve Valentine (author unknown) http://glvalentine.livejournal.com/363991.html
